Bringing Tears to My Own Eyes

As we prepare to gut the attic space and convert it to an insulated, modern space for Tristan, we have come across quite a few things that had been forgotten over the years.  One of the boxes contained an old Floppy Disc organizer, complete with installation disks for WordPerfect 5.0, Dos 3.1, backups of checking statements from 12 years ago (a few more recent, also) and scrapbook papers that I'm obviously never going to use.  A phone cord, 128 Mb RAM, and a few manuals for software.  Oh!  Also the installation cd for the Nikon software that I've been looking for! 

The real jackpot though, were two floppy disks that I began in 2000, not long after Shelby was born.  I called them 'Love Letters to My Daughter', and I wrote to her faithfully, but not daily, for nearly two years.  I was excited to find them, but a worry nagged in the back of my mind that the files would be corrupted, the disk too old, and that the treasure intended for my little girl were truly lost, although right in my hand.  I set them carefully aside, and after sorting through the remainder of the box and ending with a garbage pile, a recycle pile, a yard sale pile and a keep pile, I put everything away but the disks.

After lunch, and after everyone else in the family had had their computer time for the day, I finally sat down to check Facebook and my e-mail.  The disks sat staring at me, and I finally picked one up and bent down to look at the pc tower.  Do I even have a floppy drive on this thing?  Hey!  There is one!  Cool!  In popped the disk.  First attempt through My Computer took a few minutes, ending with a message "the disk is not formatted, would you like to format?"   Heaven's NO! I thought to myself.  Never one to give up with just one direct try...I opened up MS Word, clicked open a file, and navigated to the floppy drive.....somethings happening.  Just then Shelby walks up and says....'What's that noise?'  'Well, that's what a floppy disk drive sounds like, instead of a CD Drive."  Oh! 

Suddenly a file list appearred!  Letters to Shelby 2001.doc.    It's there.  It worked!  It's SAFE.

I opened the file, skimmed through a few letters, and saved a copy to my pc.  In popped the second disc, containing two files:   Love Letters 2000.doc and Love Letters to Shelby.doc.  They're both saved on the pc and on a CD.  My heart is happy.

I did read about three entries to Shelby, we both ended up in tears and I promised her she would be able to read them all.  They are for her, after all.  

I have often wished I was a writer.  Not that I never tried.  I took advanced Language Arts in High School, wrote at home all the time, started many stories, never finished.  Took a correspondence course for writing for children, tried to publish a few short stories, without success.  Didn't try hard enough. But reading a few of these entries, I was really touched by some of the things I wrote, and how I wrote them.   Maybe I could do it.  While I continue to ponder that option, here is one entry that truly touched me, and I hope you enjoy.


December 31, 2000


And so this year in which you were born is coming to an end. It has been the most incredible year of my life. You are so full of life, curiousity, and joy. You bring new meaning to each day for me, and something for me to look forard to. It’s as if I have never seen geese fly, never heard a hickup, never seen a messy face or seen such beauty as can exist in the human face. My hope is to help keep that joy in your life, that wonder which you exhibit every day, and to give you some of the happiness which you have brought to me, just by being alive. I love you, with all my heart.

You will find, as you look back upon your life,
that the moments when you have really lived
were the moments when you have done things
in the spirit of love.  - Henry Drummond